I am from Omak, I know that some people will be thinking, "Omak, what the f*** is that!" Well Omak is where I grew up, there is much history in that town for myself and some of it I love to re-live while other parts I would prefer to shun.
When people ask me, "Nate what was it like to grow up in such a small town?" I usually answer, "It was like growing up in a Gold Fish bowl, everyone knows your business even if you do it behind the sunken ship and bubbling treasure chest." Really the town was just large enough where you didn't quite know every single person but were acquainted with most of the residents. You always seemed to run into those people while buying hemorrhoid cream which brings up the awkward, "Hi! How are you? Good, how are you? Good (pause) well good to see you. Bye."

I do need to add an addendum to my first paragraph since I just finished a tangent, I don't ever want to forget or change anything from my past, I may wish that I never had to go through certain experiences but it is those experiences that make me what I am, and so far I like that person.
To continue, in Omak I was deeply involved in a church body, active in ministry and leadership. Using the word "active" to describe my involvement probably is not the best word I would have to say, to be whole-heartedly engrossed in it would be more accurate I would say; I did enjoy almost every minute of my time though. Somewhere along the way of my involvement I really started to see a duty more than passion for the cause of Christ, and really the view was not just my own, everyone else involved seemed to think that it was my duty and made it known.

Where I am going with is to say that even though I felt that I had a righteous duty to perform acts of ministry, really I was only trying to keep the status quo. After so much time and energy spent combined with the pressure of others be involved constantly it caused me to "fall away" one might say, but I would describe it as enlightenment. I see that Jesus gave us two commandments, to love God and love each other. I do both of those, I may not show my love for God through ministry and I may not even show my love to the same god that everyone else does. There is too much grey area in Christianity, who truly comprehends the Bible and can say definitively what the one true way is, I trust no man on this earth to tell me and only god (whoever that may be) to speak the truth.

Who can describe what God is, or who can accurately say what his desires for man are; I trust that there is a god, but what he wants from us I do not know. I have a hard time listening to men in pulpits trying to tell me how my life should look for God and for now, God or god has not spoken to tell me that the way I do things is wrong. I respect my agnostic version of the almighty and I always strive to show respect and love to my fellow man. Everyone can say what they think is right or what they may know to be right but who has any credibility when you are the only person who knows the true intentions of your heart, whether or not you have salvation or have just put on a facade. I am just examining myself and I feel that where I am is right for me, I am not about determining an absolute.